My godmother asked me what I’ve been doing this summer.

I’ve been fooling around town, enjoying temperatures that boil the very sweat on your skin, and keeping busy with various friends, more specifically guy friends.

She told me to appreciate these days and savour the innocence I still hold with close guy friends. Apparently when you’re grown-up, there’s hardly enough time to play soccer every evening with random men and women you happen to encounter through various, creative ways. I suppose it’s hard for a working-class person to maintain blithe, youthful activies,  not to mention other factors that deter a mature woman from roughing around with soccer players - energy levels, weathered bodies, wives, snippety girlfriends, bad knees, and the like.
I’ll always love soccer.

Our school resumes next Friday, as in the fifteenth of August. Where the hell did this summer go? I’m not sure if it’s just me that’s putting off every summer assignment. It’s going to be a turbulent year, and I’m pretty glad the past schoolyear smacked down boulders of chaos. I’m ready to take this year day-by-day, and will try to maintain my sanity - or whatever’s left of it - and get my act together. Unfortunately, there’s a time for me to grow the hell up just a little; I’ll give myself some slack.

What are you looking towards for the new schoolyear?

Once upon a time, I developed an extraordinary friendship with someone; we’ll call him Jack. Jack and I were brought together by a sport he absolutely adores. I suppose we shouldn’t call his sport a sport; it is passion.

I volunteered to time a number of club swim meets “back in the day”. During one particular meet Jack participated in was the first and last time I saw him swim. He was dragging in gold during the whole event. We locked eyes several times, and I told myself that this kid was a sure stud. Jack was always the first to check the times on the board because he was always the first one out of the water.

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I watched The Dark Knight today. I must say, Heath Ledger and Christian Bale performed exquisitely. I’m not one for thrills and spills, but this movie’s adrenaline and drama had me literally on the edge of my seat. I could go on and on, but I’ll just leave it at this; I’d totally marry the Dark Knight. And I thought Superman was a looker… not that he isn’t. It was a brilliant movie through and through.

I am now off to play some pick-up soccer for the billionth night in a row. I don’t know why I allow my gaunt, weathered body to continue playing soccer when I should be effectively working towards better health for a different soccer season. Call it love.

I’ve been gorging on junk for the past 3 weeks. This is NOT good. How do I pick myself up again, anyways?

This incident did not occur recently; in fact, I have no idea why it even popped into my mind.

I was walking into good ol’ Wally World one scorching day when a man approached me and asked for a donation. I was digging through my “secondary” wallet for change; meanwhile, desperation for skim milk bounded about in my head.
This man piped up, “Can I ask you a question? It might anger you, though.”
I cautiously raised my head, mentally preparing to deny this man sex of any kind.
“I need you to donate twenty dollars. Will you donate twenty dollars? It can only feed a family of four, but it will do.”

I blushed because a) he caught me at a bad time b) for five bucks, I could prepare a hearty meal for two families of six and c) I knew, somehow, twenty bucks could feed four families.

Change-money set aside, I stuffed five dollars into his box and glimpsed a number of twenty-dollar bills inside his donation box.
“God bless you.” The man gave a dissatisfied, smug smirk.
“Sorry,” I smiled, “but, I don’t have my main wallet with me, so I’m a little low.”

After I came out, the man slowly waved at me and beamed.
“So, did you get it?”
“Get what?” I questioned.
“The money,” he said.
“I told you about it. I don’t have it,” I responded, shuffling towards my car.

People will approach with good intentions, yet sometimes you just can’t seem to string together the “good” feelings.

My grandfather and my step-grandmother are visiting from China. After my step-father, my mother, and I returned from China, the grandparents arrived a week later. This summer was the first time in approximately 10 years since I’ve been in China, so I didn’t grow up with my family or form bonds that need to exist in families. While in China, I clicked immediately with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was all almost surreal, but I knew they were family despite the decade apart.

I’ve been responsible for entertaining my grandparents since the living here is vastly different from China. They’ve grown accustomed to the environment quite well, but of course they’re elders and honestly, there’s hardly anything to do that is of their interest. The feelings that are about to come out will probably disgust me one month from now, yet it’s been a month already and these feelings are still roiling in my stomach.

This visit has been nothing but a nuisance. It has been a burden. I will be a free girl once grandpa and step-grandma board the plane to Shanghai. I can not get myself to enjoy their visit. I resent waking up in the morning because I know I will have to face another day with them. I simply can not get myself to tolerate their mere presence. Quite honestly, this phase scares me. I tremble knowing this anger did not exist last summer. I find it uncanny that a person can develop this much hatred and resentment against people that have done nothing to him.

Maybe it’s getting in touch with the culture that I was born into; however, since I’ve been practically bred with ideals and thinking that scoff at my “original” culture, I feel superior to them. I sincerely need to develop my tolerance and acceptance skills. Otherwise, I’ll completely lose grip.

On second thought, stability has totally eluded me.